My name is UD (not real name), a Nigerian and i am married to European who is 10 years older than me. We met in Europe but got married in Lagos.
Well, after our marriage, we always have family issues and fights like every other couple, but the problem i am having with my wife is that any time we are having our small misunderstanding, she always gets physical.. Initially, its just a small slap to my face and some nail scratching on my body here and there. And when this started in Europe, i will always try to walk away or hold her hands to calm her down, but seems the more i take the beatings, the more courage and bold she becomes in always hitting me during an argument or small misunderstanding with her.Recently, we both came back to Nigeria for a business we brought down from Europe, and since we started living in Nigeria, i couldn’t hold myself any longer as i have tried so in so many occasions to avoid hitting her back, but at a point i couldn’t take it any more and i had to hit her back! though not so hard, but like oyibos, her skin where i hit her turned purple color and the next day everybody at our office was looking at me like the devil himself and a woman beater… I felt very very bad that i swore never to touch her again!
But last night she came all out for me again, hitting me, throwing lamps and whatever at me, and i lost it again and had to hit her! This time a bit hard! Please what am i supposed to do because i don’t feel good after this fights especially when i have to hit her back.
And some of you might ask, why are we always fighting
Well, i happens to be the bread winner in my family, but my wife
doesn’t understand why i should give money to my brother to help him in
his business or pay for a new home for my mum. She said my family is too
lazy and they should go and fend for themselves. My family is all i had
and i feel obliged to help them even as i have a joint business venture
with my wife and we run same account, thus finds out anytime i give
them money.My brother was the one who helped and paid for my studies in Europe when his business was moving fine…now i feel i have to support him too because he has some problems with his business, but my oyibo wife will not hear of it and thus leads to our fighting and she getting physical with me..
Please guys, advise me what to do if you are in my shoes…only matured advises needed. Thanks
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